


Kids No Return

by demonladys



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Adulthood, Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Angst, Break Up, F/F, Gay Bar, Homophobia, Homosexual Slow Dancing, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Making Out, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, fuckboi lesbian fashion, tako (tall ako)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:14:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25007533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonladys/pseuds/demonladys
Summary: Time heals all wounds.Whoever said that is a fucking liar.When Lisa Imai returns home from college she finds only uneasy loneliness and a shell of her old life waiting, the latter soon broken by a chance encounter with Roselia’s old drummer. Ako's changed while she's been away, and as Lisa soon realizes, so has she. Adulthood is a one-way ticket with no return. She's about to discover where it's taken her.
Relationships: Aoba Moca/Shirasagi Chisato, Hazawa Tsugumi/Hikawa Sayo, Imai Lisa/Udagawa Ako, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> during bandori rarepair week of june 2020 i posted a [oneshot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24484423) ft. tako (tall ako) and lisa flirting while lisa’s on break during her college years. i had some ideas about possibly building upon this and that has culminated in this fic.
> 
> CW: alcohol, implied sexual content  
> there will not be any sex scenes but there will at least be makeouts and implied/discussed sexual content, hence the M-rating.  
> i think that covers everything? if more content warnings become necessary i will add them later on.
> 
> please enjoy! the title of this fic is from a soutaiseiriron song from the album TOWN AGE.

There’s a train pulling up to the sunset filled station. It’s so loud, so ear-blastingly loud when horns blare out and every metallic wheel screeches to a halt. Lisa figured that in all the years she’s spent taking the train around that she’d be used to it, but today the massive snake of a vehicle seems especially malicious. It slides so far past and threatens to leave her behind in its tracks. Thankfully it doesn’t. At a full stop, several doors slide open. She takes a deep breath in and stands as tall as she can but her legs are wobbling, her heartbeat feels faint and she can’t bring herself to look back at the silent presence looming behind her.

But she still feels Yukina rise to meet her.

“Um, thanks for coming to see me off, ahaha…”

“...”

Maybe there’s just nothing left to say between them. No “I’m sorry” or “we’ll meet again” or “this is goodbye” or “take care.” It hurts so much.

Lisa rolls her suitcase across the pavement, the sound of its wheels trail her and rumble in tandem with every breath she takes and it feels like something is slipping out of her grasp. She can’t tell what, but she’s lost something. She steps one foot into the train car’s interior before her. It’s so impossible to take that second step. She can’t bear the weight binding her other foot to the brick. It’s like a giant ball of lead chained around her ankle.

Is she hoping Yukina stops her?

Why would she? After all the sentiments they’d both failed to live up to and all the nights spent mulling over whether or not she deserved to feel bitter about it. After nearly a year of troughs with no peaks in sight, she kept trying to convince herself it was just a bumpy road in the path to their promised future of happiness.

How could she be so naive?

There’s still a good minute left before the train’s doors shut on her but it feels as if they’re closing in already. She almost wishes they were, that they’d force her inside all the way so she wouldn’t have to feel the need to say something else.

But at the same time, she doesn’t want this to be the end.

“You didn’t have to, you know. I would’ve been just fine leaving everything behind without a word.”

She’s lying through her teeth and Yukina knows that but the words just blurt themselves out and she can’t control where they go or what they sound like.

“In fact. I really wish you hadn’t.”

“Lisa.”

“Just… whatever. You were there for Sayo and Rinko too. I’m so stupid for thinking I was ever special.”

Yukina’s breath nears. The cool spring breeze carries it the rest of the way and she knows her former best friend, her ex-girlfriend, whatever she is now, is standing right at her back. Lisa’s rolling luggage serves as the only gap between them.

“Lisa. I know things didn’t work out. I’m not going to disagree with that or try to reason otherwise. But stop acting like I never cared about you.” The way Yukina is so calm, so careful in every word she speaks grates on Lisa to no end.

Lisa sobs and sniffles and doesn’t even bother to wipe the tears with her sleeves because it’s not like Yukina can see her face even if she can hear every sound she makes.

“Okay.”

Finally she gains the strength in her other foot if only for a second to take that second step and pull her luggage in with. She turns around and of course her makeup is a mess but it’s fine. She doesn’t care what Yukina sees or thinks of her hideous sobbing mess of a face. She just wants to be able to look her in the eye as they say their farewells.

“Um, take care of Ako while you’re still around, okay?”

Yukina nods. The doors start to move, and close in until the songstress’ face is out of view.

* * *

_ Time heals all wounds. _

Whoever said that is a fucking liar.

The train car is surprisingly empty for this hour. It wasn’t this empty on the way out and god she wishes it was to save her the embarrassment of looking like a crying disaster in front of the crowd of passengers who she’d never see again anyway. Handle grips rattle from above and she leans her right arm against the metal bar beside her seat, grasping that same old piece of luggage in her left hand. Clacking of wheels against the track, whirring winds against the side and a sunset view out the window greet Lisa Imai as she returns home for the first time in what feels like an eternity. Unless her sense of time has left her and she’s going senile at the age of 23, it’s really only been four years. Only four years? Or a whole four years? It should be long enough for time to heal those wounds.

But watching those memories play on her mind as that same station comes into view is not a sign of healing. Everything about it is unchanged save a new coat of that same beech brown paint on her old favorite bench.

Maybe Lisa has a condition where no amount of ointment or rubbing alcohol can treat her. That’s probably a thing, right?

When the train car doors slide open, nostalgia starts to get to her head and for a second there’s that glimpse of her old childhood friend staring through the open doorway with the clueless -- though not disinterested -- expression that she always wears. But that memory fades too, along with whatever stirring in her heart had brought it to the forefront of her mind. She exhales, before tossing herself, the rollaway suitcase, and two oversized and overstuffed purses out of the train car.

“Welcome home,” she whispers aloud as her vision scans the train’s perimeter to make sure it’s only for her ears. Nobody is waiting for her to disembark. Of course. Why would anybody be waiting for her? She’s so stupid to even wish that. Aside from her mom, she hadn’t told anyone in town that she’d be coming home or even that she’d graduated. For all anybody else knows she never even went to college and just vanished without a trace one day.

The birds hum a familiar tune as she steps off the platform and begins her trek toward home, all the luggage slowing her walk speed to a crawl. It’s a strain on her back worst of all, but at least it means she can appreciate the scenery. Everything in the neighborhood is basically the same as she left it but some yards have for sale signs protruding from the grass, others have bright and shining faces of children she doesn’t recognize darting around, chasing each other down and giggling the whole time.

The dusk sun has all but vanished by the time she finds the welcoming gate of her old home, lights glowing from inside. It’s a warm kind of feeling but the sort that kind of makes her uncomfortable, too? Like getting a little too close to a bulb that had just burnt out, its last flickers still heating the air around it. As she rolls her way to the front door, she does everything in her power to keep her gaze locked onto her own house and not accidentally glance at the blue one beside it. But maybe she should… stop by and say hi… or something…?

No, no, no. Stop it, she scolds herself. If she keeps thinking about it, she’ll start to lose herself in either memories that are too happy to seem real or too disheartening to keep her going. She just needs to make it up the small set of brick stars, reach her hand out, and…

_ Ding-ding! _

By the time the door swings open she’s about ready to collapse and her mother just barely manages to hold her upright while her bags fall to the floor. She’s not strong enough to smile through it but she’s at least thankful to have the support after all this time away.

_ Welcome home. _

She returns to the bedroom in which she grew up, its salmon curtains and pink checkered bed sheets greet her like a long lost family member. Trendy tote bags and cute little hats hang from the coat rack and her old computer can still turn on, though the OS is outdated by now so it’d probably be good to update it when she has the energy. Even her old bass is still lying in the corner where she’d left it after everything fell apart because she didn’t want to seem like a coward stuffing it away in storage even if it haunted her in her sleep. And to her delight, there’s not a speck of dust on anything. Mom did a thorough job!

She takes a seat at the makeup desk she had used so many times and pulls a fresh pack of remover wipes from her purse. When she stares into the mirror, though, she winces. It’s a bit jarring to see that antique white frame around her more mature face, long, wavy auburn hair draped over her shoulders without being held back by the ponytail that she used to wear so often. Silky threads hang atop her cozy white sweater and she knows she’s out of place. Nothing has changed about this room. Nothing but the woman inside.

There’s a buzz from her phone when she rubs off the last of her eyeshadow. She blinks at the mirror, still unsettled by the uncanny contrast of her childhood room and her adult self, before grabbing to check the text. It’s from her college roommate who graduated alongside her.

**> hey hey lisa~! fuji here! just wanted to make sure you got there safe and everything!**

She cracks a smile at her screen. Even if there’s no one in town who wants to see her face, at least her alumni buddies got her back. Fuji was an especially interesting case, probably one of the few girls she could fully trust knowing she was a lesbian thanks to that absurdly large collection of yuri manga she flaunted on their shared bookshelf without hesitation. It just took a couple volumes of  _ Kiss and White Lily  _ and a couple older Morishima works to coax a coming out during their first year at uni, which was a huge relief compared to the nightmare scenario of rooming with a straight girl who’d bug her nonstop about getting a boyfriend. She still dealt with those constantly of course, but thankfully not in the comfort of her dorm.

> Hey Fuji! I’m safe and sound, no worries here!

**> phew! thought we might have to call a search team for you...**

It’s not like socializing or making friends has ever been an issue for Lisa though. She’s always been a people person, the sort to remember everyone’s names and faces without trouble. She’s a natural-born friend-maker after all! So even if there’s nobody left in this corner of Tokyo who remembers her name, she’s sure that won’t last long. Just gotta find a crowd and work her magic, that’ll offset this somber loneliness for sure!

* * *

Yet there’s a part of her that can’t help long for that inviting sensation of seeing an old friend for the first time in ages and having that chance to catch up. It’s an alluring fantasy for someone who just a few years back wanted nothing more than to leave this place behind her. 

By the next morning, she works up the courage to start texting down the list of contacts she still had saved from her high school days. She doubts most of them will respond. Lot of those girls are probably at college scattered about the country themselves. But it’s worth a shot, right? Just a simple greeting of “Hey, I’m in town!” should suffice, she figures, and any catching up can come later.

Between each text, she checks out some of the old outfits from her wardrobe and gets a feel for them in the mirror. Looks like her old Roselia and Girls’ Band Party tees are too small now, they barely manage to squeeze past her chest. But lucky lucky Lisa~! Her old beige sweater dress still fits just fine! It’s a little tight around the waist and that old belt isn’t doing her any favors, but her shoulders feel so free and as she turns around back and forth there’s a pretty good view of her from every angle. She’s so overjoyed! This was always one of her favorite outfits -- it’s so comfortable and form-fitting, plus it’s just perfect for spring weather! She settles on this for today. After all, if she bumps into anyone she knows, it’d be ideal to wear something she’d be easy to recognize in.

While she’s scrolling down her contacts, her thumb hovers over the name “Yukina Minato.” Her stomach starts to swell and she can’t help glance at the screen door to her balcony. Right across from her is the neighbor’s balcony, it’s so close she could jump to it if she wanted to. But deep violet curtains shut out whatever lies beyond her neighbor’s glass screen, obscuring any answers to questions she has about whether or not she’s even still living there. The sight of it alone is enough to trigger sour memories of the months she spent begging for affection and worrying whether or not she was truly loved and-

Whatever. It’s none of her business.

She’s not one to wait for the go-ahead. Today’s destination is the shopping district! Yeah, she’s gotta find someone she recognizes there! She’s already at Yamabuki Bakery ordering a fresh batch of milk bread to take home with her. She scans every corner of the joint in the hopes that maybe Saaya will be around, ‘til she decides to chat up another customer while waiting in line. The woman standing in front of her looks probably in her lower 30s with deep wisteria purple hair, clad in a dark dress like a witch.

“Hey! Do you shop here often?” Lisa asks. The woman nods with a delighted smile across her lips. Lisa feels a blush across her face when the woman turns around, she’s honestly gorgeous. “I was wondering, do you remember a girl who used to work here? She was the owner’s daughter and always looked out for all the customers.”

“Oh, Saaya! Of course I remember her, she was always so courteous. A shame she went off to college. She always made the best custard buns… I mean, they still make ‘em good, but Saaya’s were beyond perfect.”

“Ahh, so that’s what happened to her…”

The first dead end isn’t enough to discourage her, but the lack of Hagumi at the Kitazawa butchery brings dreary clouds with a sense of dejection. 

Next she tries Hazawa Coffee. Maybe Tsugumi will be there! Or Eve! Or hell, anyone from Afterglow! But when she takes a seat in the center of the cafe at a table as out in the open as she can find, she’s disappointed to discover no sign of anyone she used to know. Tsugumi’s kindhearted mother is still around, but when asked, she hesitates to reveal anything about what her daughter has been up to. It’s more than a little suspicious, but with no leads on her whereabouts there’s no way Lisa could begin to figure out how to get involved in helping her supposedly troubled acquaintance out.

Another dead end.

At least she’s getting plenty of food from all the running around. Everyone seems to be away at college still or just totally gone, maybe they’ve all moved away. She considers checking Haneoka but the odds that anyone she knows has started teaching there are next to none. It might be a nice trip down memory lane to walk through those halls again but it’d be pretty weird for a 23 year-old woman to show up there just for nostalgia. Maybe if she’s still in town this fall, she’ll keep her eye out for the culture festival.

* * *

The shopping district’s nightlife leaves something to be desired. It’s one of the things she definitely prefered about uni -- it was way closer to the busy city area, and its plethora of bars and clubs where shitty bands make a cheap debut and pretty girls dance the night away. Around here, the best she can find is an old ramen shop open late that serves cheap beer and a decent pork belly. It’s a pretty quiet place in the back corner of the shopping district behind an old thrift store, decorated by a dark wood interior and pumpkin orange paper lamps hanging from above, with an easy view of the kitchen from the bar.

Lisa grumbles and downs a huge swig of beer. There’s a sort of bitter, aluminum taste and otherwise it feels way too watered down. It smells like gasoline mixed with dandelions and god damn if this isn’t the worst thing she’s drank all year. Still, it’s just barely tolerable to the point where she’s not gonna complain.

She can't figure out why she's so desperate to rekindle her old friendships with people she hasn't seen or spoken to in years. If it were just loneliness, that'd be an easy fix. But it's more like something gnawing at her, haunting her.

Of course she's dissatisfied with how she left things back then. 

Nobody could be satisfied with how she left things. Least of all Lisa Imai.

Still no replies. Maybe they’re mad at her. She had left without a word and no matter how many people asked what was wrong she wouldn’t give herself an ounce of vulnerability. Time doesn’t really heal any wounds and of course even Sayo would know that, same for Himari and Rinko and-

She downs another swig. It sucks, and it thankfully sucks enough to make her forget that train of thought and switch tracks right onto another one.

If anyone asked, college was a great time! Yeah, she had plenty of friends and enjoyed all her classes and managed to graduate with a pretty decent GPA and a bachelor’s in liberal arts. Always the social butterfly, she was right in her element. There was just one problem she kept running into in those four years she spent being the queen of singles: Girls.

It’s always the same song and dance -- some gorgeous girl from her evening classic literature class starts hitting on her, slipping her notes in class like they’re middle school lovebirds who don’t know how to communicate. She’s sure something will come of it but nothing. No follow through, no dates, not even a phone number. She gets her hopes up and then her new crush will just stop showing up to class or oops, she transfers to a different major and now Lisa has to sit alone at their weekend study sessions. Then there’s the other nightmare scenario: she actually decides to make a move herself only for her supposed admirer to turn out to be a straight girl with no fucking sense of boundaries or communication.

Sure, she kept herself entertained. At least the straight girls in her vicinity always had relationship problems she could help with, and helping people with their problems has always been a special hobby! But god, if it didn’t sting to remember that she was the one not getting to live out a silly college romance like the girls around her were. Her single lesbians pact with Fuji was maybe the one saving grace amongst all the bitterness that swelled through her heart when she noticed all the straight couples being overly affectionate for everyone to see, without a worry in the world about if someone would hurt them over it or tell their homophobic relatives.

Lisa Imai will never quit being a massive lesbian. But god damn is she tired.

Another swig and her first can is empty. She calls out to the server for seconds.

Chopsticks between her fingertips, she stirs wistfully at the broth of her tonkotsu. She’s barely even taken a bite but suddenly she’s not even in the mood. Nostalgia really does paint your memories. She sneaks the edge of her phone through her purse’s mouth to check if anyone has responded to her requests to meet up, but nothing. Resigned to spend the rest of the night alone and tipsy, failing to light the spark that will rekindle her love for her hometown, she sighs.

Suddenly there’s a pair of fingers tapping against her right shoulder and it sends her straight into fight or flight mode. 

“Hey there, pretty girl. Couldn’t help notice you sitting here all by your lonesome. Care for some company?” a woman’s voice, deep as an ocean abyss, asks her. 

She glances to the side to find a towering girl in an open leather jacket and black denim pants with chains hanging loose. She’s got wavy lavender hair, about down to her shoulders, tucked beneath a black snapback with a skull on the front and a smirk across her lips, one little fang peeking through. Under her jacket she’s wearing a crop top tee with a design much like her cap, short enough to show off her midriff and  _ damn _ , this girl’s got some abs.

She’s been in this situation before, and normally she’d shove a random suitor away. But usually it’s clueless men with breath like vinegar mixed with expired milk, and hair slicked back with just enough oil to mask the stench of having never taken a shower in their life. Not everyday does a hot girl show up seemingly from nowhere to pull a stunt like this. So today, she plays along. “Aha, sure~,” she bats her eyelashes at the tall beauty, who takes a seat on the stool to her left.

“One beef udon, no peppers!” the woman calls to the man behind the counter who’s currently wiping down the stovetop. “A gorgeous girl like you all by herself is a sight for sore eyes. Something on your mind?”

Her voice is like the shore of a lake rinsing across Lisa’s fingertips. Soothing in a way she can recognize, and tempting like a siren’s song. Despite the woman’s casual and seductive demeanor, there’s something calming about her that lets Lisa open up. “Well, I wanted to meet up with some friends, but everyone is either busy or gone.”

Miss Lavender gives a sympathetic sigh. “What a shame. They don’t know what they’re missing out on.”

Lisa can’t put her finger on it, but there’s something oddly familiar about her. She’s got the brazen confidence of someone like Kaoru, but seems a fair bit more chill and more goth. Thankfully, unlike Kaoru, this girl knows how to flirt -- she’d have walked away already if she started ranting about princesses and Shakespeare. She’s got a face with a shape Lisa swears she knows, it’s kind of cute but a little bit rough around the jaw. And… that fang… Where has she seen it before? “Weird question. Is your fang real?”

She tilts her face to an angle where the tooth tucks itself just far enough past her lip to be fully visible without piercing her own skin. “Real as can be, baby. Seized right from the maw of the world serpent itself.“ Meanwhile, she slides one hand toward Lisa and gives her a coy glance. Lisa glances in return and there’s something hidden in that girl’s scarlet eyes. It’s playful. She’s being so reckless with her words but so careful in how she delivers them. Almost like…

“You… You’re…”

Miss Lavender replies with a prideful flip of her hair. “Been a while since I’ve seen your lovely face around these parts. What brings you back, Lisa Imai?”

Lisa tilts her head back to Miss Lavender with a glance of confusion. Now that she looks again, it starts to click together -- probably in part thanks to her peculiar, abstract answer. She bites her tongue before she has the chance to ask ‘do I know you’ because halfway through forming the words, her heart is exploding in a gay panic and the world spins around her. If her guess is correct -- and there’s no doubt in her mind that it is -- nothing makes sense anymore.  _ What.  _

_ No fucking way. _

“A…” She chokes on the words as they flow through her throat. The woman raises her eyebrows. “A-Ako?!”

“Fu fu fu…” The woman’s devious laugh echoes off the shop’s wooden walls. She smirks with her lips half covered by her fingers and her eyes narrowed. Lisa recognizes it so well -- the same sort of pose that signals Ako Udagawa summoning the forces of darkness or whatever. But instead of senseless rambling, Ako responds with another flip of her hair and a cool smile. “I’ve been evolving ever since you left. My demonic power grows by the day. Like what you see?” She leans back in her seat and motions her hands over the rest of herself, as if to signal ‘look at me  _ now, _ baby.’

Lisa scans Ako up and down. Yep, sure enough. Much taller, much more muscular, much more stylish. But it’s still her. 

_ What. _

_ Fucking WHAT? _

Since when was that kid from her high school dance club, the girl always banging away at the drums while shouting about demons and hell and necromancy… Since when did THAT girl turn into a smoking hot leather-clad babe. She looks like Tomoe in a way, but there’s something so distinct about her. The way she raises her eyebrows, those flirty winks, the way she talks… It’s so much more mellow. She hasn’t even dropped the word ‘cool’ once. She’s so incredibly bold and it’s almost awe-inspiring that the first thing she did before even introducing herself was try to hit on Lisa.

Is this some kind of surreal, twisted thirst dream? Is that how desperate Lisa’s gotten?

On the one hand her head’s still spinning in every direction inside and out and there’s a hint of guilt settling into her heart. That’s  _ Ako.  _ Isn’t it fucking weird to fall for a girl’s charms when the last time you saw said girl, she was a tiny gremlin with unyielding energy you could hardly keep under control for long enough to make it through band practice?

“Wait, seriously?!” Lisa stutters for at least half a minute and jesus how the hell did she end up being the one to get flustered from AKO of all people flirting with her? “You’re… really Ako?” She’s in utter disbelief but there’s absolutely no evidence to prove her wrong. Maybe if it weren’t for all the disappointment with girls, all the nights spent crying on Fuji’s shoulder in her dorm. Maybe if anyone else, anyone at all had texted her back or shown their faces in the shopping district today. Maybe if she were a little more drunk, or a little less, but this shitty beer really isn’t doing it for her. Maybe if the girl she’s speaking to wasn’t hot as hell, maybe if she hadn’t initiated. 

Maybe if those memories of Yukina at the station weren’t still in the back of her mind from last night.

Maybe then Lisa would accept that guilt and back away from the situation.

But this Ako gives her a wink and leans in close. “In the flesh~!”

When did Ako get so hot… so  _ cool?  _ This isn’t real, right? She pinches herself, and the scene remains. Ako places one finger against Lisa’s chin and she  _ feels it.  _ There’s only a little bit of force, but the push is enough to know there’s so much more strength in that hand. All the blood is rushing to her head and she fails to muster up a real response.

“What’s the matter, Lisa? Overwhelmed by my mastery of the darkness?” It doesn’t matter how goofy the words from her lips are. She says it so smoothly, so delicately and with such gentle ferocity. Staring directly into Lisa’s eyes, threatening to drown her in her voice. She can’t help but be captivated.

“I-I mean… It’s just strange to see you like this! You’re grown up now!” She’s trying so hard to maintain a cool front, but suddenly she wants nothing more than to melt into Ako’s hands.

Ako lets out a light chuckle. “Ahaha. I’ve got more than just looks though.” She leans in further, and places a damp kiss against Lisa’s cheek. Lisa can feel her heartbeat racing faster than a motorbike at top speed and wonders what the hell she did to deserve such a beautifully twisted fate.

Ako pulls away slowly, and points to Lisa’s untouched ramen bowl, only barely steaming with any warmth remaining. “Why don’t you come visit my place after we eat? I’ll show you what I mean.”

Her fingers are quaking from the thrill and any remorse she had before is long gone. She reaches for her chopsticks again, but she’s so excited she can hardly hold them properly. “Aha~. This is so weird… but for some reason I don’t think I can say no to that offer.” She winks and sticks her tongue out, just far enough to look playful but not too suggestive.

* * *

Lisa’s got no clue if ‘my place’ refers to the Udagawa residence she’d been to a couple times or somewhere entirely new, but she’s too over eager to even bother asking before she’s taken to a nearby apartment complex and led to apartment number 666 -- the perfect address for Ako Udagawa. Once Ako unlocks the door she doesn’t even bother flipping the lights on but Lisa’s eyesight is good enough right now that she can see with just the TV screen across the room as her lantern. There’s a bit of a mess she has to navigate past; mostly game magazines from decades ago, empty energy drink cans, and computer cables scattered across the floor.

“Right this way,” Ako says, offering out her hand. Lisa accepts, and Ako’s got a stronger grip than she expected. Those muscles aren’t just for show then, she realizes and a cat-like grin flies across her face. Ako guides her over to a violet linen couch decorated in deep sapphire pillows and a pair of hand-knit blankets, one draped over each arm. It’s right across from the LED television set which is currently open to a sleek, simplistic menu of black, white, and gray with labels at the top marked MAP / QUEST / ITEM / WEAPON / SKILL / DATA / SYSTEM. It seems like the pause screen for a video game but could easily pass as a PC desktop interface if you told her as much.

Lisa takes a seat on one end of the couch and waits for Ako to join her. Ako is one step ahead and already has her in a tight lock between herself and the arm. There’s a devious smirk across her lips and her fang juts out over the bottom of her lip. In the muted light of the television screen, Ako is a beast who has just cornered her prey, but first she’s in the mood to play with her food and Lisa has never been more excited to be hunted.

“Can’t believe I’m finally getting to sink my teeth into such a gorgeous woman. Fu fu fu...” Ako opens her mouth and flaunts her chompers right over Lisa’s eyes.

“Come on then. I’m waiting~.”

With that invitation, Ako doesn’t hesitate for a second.

It starts with just a kiss, a gentle press of the lips, eyes shut just as gently. They’re a little bit chapped and a little bit coarse. Ako’s breath tastes of udon broth and so do her lips but Lisa’s first kiss with her is nothing short of satisfying. The next kiss has more force to it, more weight. Intensity increases with the next one as Ako’s whole body holds Lisa to the couch’s arm and her lips stay connected for longer this time, Lisa using all her strength to return in kind. There’s something so overwhelming about the way Ako kisses. It’s the kiss of an oncoming train going at top speed. The nose of an airplane in its final descent.

Their lips break away for a sliver of a moment. Lisa’s got her legs out toward the couch’s other end while Ako straddles her, one knee threatening to slide from the seat cushion’s edge but she’s got herself planted so firmly that it absolutely won’t. In the droning pale white of Ako’s TV, Lisa wants so much to stare at her friend’s crimson irises, to lose herself in their depth. They’re the underworld’s fruit and tonight Lisa’s been tempted to devour every last seed until she can no longer return to the mortal realm. Now that they’re this close together, she can see every last detail of Ako’s skin and holy shit, she’s not just hot -- she’s too fucking pretty. In spite of the roughness or maybe even because of it, she’s got a great complexion and holy shit she’s not even wearing makeup, how the fuck does a girl get her face to look that nice naturally?

“Heh… What’s wrong, babe? Can’t handle me?”

Making out with a woman who is absolutely full of herself is more fun than Lisa could’ve ever imagined. Lisa reaches up to pull her in but before she can even make a move, Ako catches her hands and locks their fingers between each other. Soon she’s shoving her lips down again and pressing their palms together. There’s something so pleasant about how tough those hands are, so rugged but so comforting around Lisa’s own delicate fingers. As the tension in her body eases and their lips open just enough for a tongue to fit through, her fingers naturally sneak away, her arms reach around the woman responsible for every little pleasure she’s feeling, and she clings tight to the leather jacket on her back. Meanwhile their tongues brawl inside her mouth and Ako soon proves her own kissing prowess extends far beyond lip-to-lip. It extends almost halfway down her throat, at least enough that as it slips away when she backs out, Lisa can feel her own mouth closing in as if to ask for more, more of that forceful sensation rolling down over her tongue. 

She tugs the leather jacket, and Ako responds by slipping the sleeves off her arms. Breaking away for the briefest moment, the rest of the jacket tumbles off her body and onto the carpet by the couch. Lisa’s even more starstruck at the sight of her firm, muscular biceps across otherwise slender arms. If she knew all those years going all out on the drums would turn Ako into  _ this,  _ Lisa would’ve paid more attention to the physical routine that went into the rhythmic sound at her back.

Rhythmic sound is exactly what leaves her mouth when the next kiss comes and goes, because in an instant she feels Ako’s teeth pierce the bottom of her lip. A simple “a-aah” escapes, and the woman who’s snatched her lips won’t let go. She bites down just a little bit harder. Another noise escapes. It’s one of the most exciting pains she’s ever felt and every microsecond is something she savors. Ako’s little fang, so sharp, pricks the corner of her lip before the other woman backs away and gives her back free reign of her mouth, at least physically. But the emotions controlling that mouth long for more. More pain. More pleasure. 

She opens her eyes, and the sting at the corner of her lower lip feels like it’s leaking something dry and damp at once. She draws her finger close and wipes right beneath. As it turns out, it was leaking something alright -- blood. Only a tiny drop, but enough to cause a surprised wince.

Ako stares directly into her and it’s somehow the most nervous and most confident Lisa’s ever felt with another woman on top of her. Her eyes narrow and there’s a coy grin across her lips. She knows exactly what she did and couldn’t be more proud of it and Lisa doesn’t even have the room for a teasing remark because the blood leaking from her lip makes forming the right words impossible.

“Fu fu… Having fun?”

Lisa nods, mesmerized.

“Ha. Has the grand demon’s curse already stolen your voice?”

Not every flirtatious word from her mouth hits the right spot but the deep resonance of her voice is a spell all on its own. Capable of immobilizing an unsuspecting maiden who’s been waiting years for a hot leather-clad babe to fuck her for the hell of it. And right now that’s exactly what Lisa is, but the wait is over. Her prayers have been answered by Ako Udagawa.

There’s a hand sliding up between her side and the couch’s back cushions -- no, between her skin and the wool of her sweater dress. It’s pulling the fabric up along Ako’s wrist and as her thumb presses into her belly, Lisa feels herself caught off-guard and recoils in her seat. Ako pulls back and meets eyes with her once more.

“Not okay?”

“N- It’s… fine. I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Mm,” she gives a sympathetic nod. “More?”

It takes Lisa a second to gather her feelings. By now she can’t tell what parts of her are operating on passion and what parts are instinct, but she definitely abandoned any logical brain functions the second she set foot in this apartment. Hopeless lesbian. At least she’s finally getting to have some fun but she still can’t fucking believe who the woman initiating is. By now it’s too late to take any of this back.

So might as well go all the way.

Lisa exhales. Her eyes start to hesitate but Ako leans in and that closeness gives her the resolve to answer. “Yeah. Please. Let’s go further.”

Ako covers her own lip with two fingers. Her tongue slips through and it’s such a suggestive gesture that Lisa feels herself blush in response. “How far, exactly?”

Delicately, Lisa latches her fingers onto Ako’s rigid hand and guides it down to her own thigh, brushing it upwards. Adrenaline rises in her heart and now she’s the one impressing herself. That boldness must be rubbing off on her like Ako’s thumb rubbing the skin of her thigh, creating a fragile imprint.

And as Lisa guides that hand, their steady gazes don’t break away from each other and they’re both wearing playful smirks. “As far as you can go,” Lisa murmurs in the most seductive voice she can manage.

Once more, Ako doesn’t hesitate for a second.

* * *

Turns out one blanket is enough for the two of them if they’re willing to huddle together. The touch of wool is snug around Lisa’s bare skin, which brushes against Ako’s sleeve and clings tight. Ako’s got two hands on the Playstation controller but their legs are interlocked and Lisa can still feel vibrations echo through every muscle in her own body. It’s a symphony lingering in her eardrums and covering every single inch of her. She keeps her arms close to Ako’s chest. Ako is gaming but Lisa’s not really paying attention to the TV screen.

“That was fun!”

“So fun you’ve said it four times,” Ako says with a playful click of her tongue and a proud grin.

“Haha… Well, you weren’t kidding. Thought you might’ve been all talk but color me impressed!”

Ako flings one arm over Lisa’s exposed shoulders and pulls her in even closer. “Nah, I’m the real deal. Evil eye and cursed arm and all.”

She’s not sure how intentional the demon talk is, if Ako’s doing it on purpose or if it just slips out from years of trying to perfect it and it’s one of those leftover habits she can’t get rid of. Like when Lisa eats one too many cookies and has to deal with the stomach ache afterwards. It’s kind of charming in a unique way. Not like Kaoru’s old way of speaking where weird shit is every word from her mouth, but sprinkled here and there and it’s totally different.

…

Today was so fucking weird.

The shopping district felt like a ghost town without any of her old acquaintances. It’s so incredibly eerie wandering streets that are just as busy as they always have been but knowing there’s something missing, a core essence that’s just totally vanished, changes everything about the way she sees her surroundings. The image is all the same but the contrast just isn’t quite right.

Then Ako dragged her straight into hell.

Even now, she can hardly believe she’s snuggling Ako Udagawa, who has somehow turned into a lesbian womanizer with a sharpened silver fang, the height of a tree and the strength of a bulldozer. She tries to look her in the eye, but can feel her face grow flushed as she remembers how it felt to give all of herself to this woman. So amazing, so absurd, so… relieving.

She hasn’t thought about Yukina or any of that shit for hours. Even the realization is nothing but a thought slipping away from her as her eyes grow heavy and she starts to doze off against Ako’s shoulder. She pulls on the fabric of her shirt.

“Ako…”

“Yeah?” Ako’s hand reaches up and she strums her fingers between Lisa’s hair. It’s a little bit tangled, but the knots start to uncrease as Ako’s fingertips gently tug them away.

“I can’t imagine you’re the type to stay with one girl for very long, right?”

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I’m still evolving. Who knows what I’ll be like tomorrow?”

“I just want to know one thing. How long is this gonna be?”

Ako’s shoulders lift Lisa’s chest and chin up as they rise to a shrug. “However long you want it to be, baby.” It’s not an honest answer, but the pitch of Ako’s voice just makes it so reassuring. Lisa’s eyes start to force themselves shut and it feels like she’s floating on the surface of a lake, a force greater than she knows tugs her gently toward the center. It’s beyond soothing, but there’s always that danger lurking beneath, threatening to pull her into its depths.

There’s a numbness in her heart but it’s beating with ease. One night to reconnect isn’t enough to fall in love. Does she even want to fall in love, she wonders? Or is she just in it for the sex, to feel the sort of pleasure that she’d been deprived of in her time away? Either way, Lisa Imai is positive the next week will be an interesting one with this upgraded version of her old friend around. Hell, maybe tomorrow night will be just as fun? There’s a sting of remorse that enters alongside that thought, but it floats away just like all other thoughts as she finds herself fully at ease resting against the tall woman with lavender hair who calls herself Ako.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tonight, I wanna take you somewhere nice,” Ako hums into Lisa's ear.  
> “Oh? Where’s that?”  
> “You’ll have to wait and find out, fu fu fu…”

Every tile on the dance floor is a different hue of light. It’s the brightest thing in the club at this hour. Which hour, exactly, Lisa is a little too drunk to remember in the moment but she knows it’s that part of the night where the dance floor has started to clear out and the DJ’s switched to a slower, more romantic kind of tune. It’s smooth jazz and love lyrics swarming her ears as she stares into the shaded hazel eyes of the girl in her arms, their irises flickering like candlelight.

She clutches onto the other girl’s shoulders for support. They’re both a little drunk but if it were a contest Lisa probably wins the prize for blood alcohol content which is a really dumb thing to enter a contest for so good thing it’s not one. Instead, she slouches onto her and the other girl slouches back and they try to slowly step around each other’s feet in a rotation that barely resembles dancing at this point. It looks like two girls trying desperately not to collapse. If one of them lets go there’s a good chance it’d send the other careening onto the flashing tiles beneath their feet. But it’s fine. Lisa doesn’t want to let go, anyway.

She’s humming to herself as she gets lost in her dance partner’s eyes. Her heart is ready to burst from her chest because she’s just sooo pretty between her dirty blonde bob cut and bright hazel eyes and her smile and, and-

Lisa leans in, her eyes shut halfway. She’s feeling bold tonight, bold enough to make a move. This girl has been flirting with her for at least two weeks or at least she’s pretty sure that was flirting considering all the winks and playful smirks they’d exchanged. The signals are right there. Lisa puckers her lips and lowers them toward the other girl’s.

...And now she’s not so certain.

While Lisa tries to close the gap between them, the gap responds by widening back up. She’s recoiled her head, her hazel eyes dodge around and try their best to avoid answering any questions from Lisa’s own eyes, now wide open once more. Her heartbeat is all out of sync from what it should be and all the intoxication rushes down from her head into the pit of her stomach.

“Lisa, what are you…?”

“O-oh.” The way her dance partner’s lips keep backing away, her arms starting to loosen from Lisa’s shoulders. She knows what it means and what it means is that she completely misread her every move and all those flirtatious gestures were a lie or maybe she’s just stupid to read it that way.

…

There’s a moment between them of silence. Enough time to apologize but Lisa keeps quiet, peering as best as she can between each beer-flavored breath into the other girl’s eyes. They won’t even look back. They’re too disgusted.

…

“I should go,” says the other girl, trying to yank herself out of Lisa’s grip..

Stupid. Stupid Lisa. It’s just like this for her, huh? No escaping the world’s judgment. Every muscle in her body tenses up but the ones in her arms become limp, falling to her side. She’s barely able to catch herself as gravity tugs down on her and she watches the girl jerk herself free and speed walk away from the dance floor and take Lisa’s hopes of mutual affection along with her.

Left alone on the technicolor floor with romantic jazz mocking her, still more than a little bit inebriated, Lisa can feel a sting in her heart like a wasp’s. Even through the haze in her head, she knew she’d never get the chance to speak to that girl again.

* * *

There’s a silent buzz in her head. It’s sharp, invisible to the ears and eyes but Lisa knows it all too well. It’s not exactly a hangover from alcohol but if emotions are a drug then it’s a hangover from feeling too much in one sitting. She tries her best to clutch her head but it’s near impossible when one arm is stuck below another woman’s neck against the mattress and the other is slotted between the same woman’s torso and arm. There’s a strange sensation of at least four different kinds of fabrics rubbing against her skin as she jostles in her groggy state, trying to squeeze another ounce of sleep from the day.

Her body doesn’t want her to dream any further.

She forces her eyes open. Ako’s sleeping eyelids, shut tight, stare back at her. Even unconscious, Ako’s hands grip the skin of her waist and she feels a little bit safer with those rough fingers against her beneath the covers. Ako is so full of herself but you wouldn’t guess it just from seeing her drowsy face stir against the pillows, arms clinging to the nearest girl they can reach.

It’s a new surface, one much more comfortable than the couch. Ako must’ve carried her over. Lisa’s beneath the comforter of a double bed wearing the same amount of only-a-bra-and-underwear as she had been when she fell asleep on her shoulder hours before. It’s kind of nice to be this bare, especially in the arms of another woman. To be this close, this vulnerable just for someone else… it brings with it a comfort that Lisa can’t explain with words, only with touch. She squirms her way toward Ako. Flesh against fabric, belly against abdomen, waking against rest. There’s nothing like it in this world, yet it’s a sensation as real as anything else in this room.

After a good few minutes of resting in that nearness, Lisa figures it’s time to face the day as rays of sunlight creep in through the bedroom’s window, all the way across the room. Carefully as she can, she jerks herself out of Ako’s grasp and slides her arms free, rolling onto her other side toward the bed’s edge. She catches Ako shake in her sleep, arms turning limp without anyone to hold. Still, she slumbers like a dragon guarding her horde of gold.

Ako’s bedroom is full of almost-clean piles of shirts and pants and jackets that seemingly just barely missed the target after being tossed across the room. Her curtains are a hard lilac and sunlight sneaks its way into the room. It feels almost like a hotel room with the way it’s arranged, one nightstand on each side of the bed and a digital alarm clock nobody ever uses because phone alarms exist. There’s a lamp that she doesn’t dare touch and posters stuck to the wall which seem like band posters at first but as Lisa gets a closer look they’re actually video game posters with intricate logos. The dresser in the corner has a collection of framed photographs sitting atop it including some old Roselia pictures that Lisa tries her best not to zoom her eyes in on and a few others featuring Tomoe, the various other members of Afterglow, Rokka, and Asuka. There’s also a bean bag shoved against the wall by the window for no reason.

Lisa realizes now that she doesn’t remember where her clothes are at this point. They came off somewhere during the height of thrill last night, then got lost somewhere in the living room. When she crawls out of bed and her feet touch the floor, she’s shocked to be greeted by the sweater dress folded neatly at the foot of the bed. She stares at it for half a second before rubbing her eyes and confirming that it really is there.

…

_ Ako is still a sweet girl at heart. She talks a big game, but she’s so considerate. _

It almost hurts.

As if summoned by the mere thought of her, Ako rises from beneath the covers as Lisa pulls her arms through the dress’ sleeves and turns around where she stands.

“Morning,” Ako says groggily, still in that cool deep voice that sang symphonies in Lisa’s ears just yesterday evening. She rubs her eyes and crawls onto the side of the bed where Lisa had been sleeping, then lifts herself onto her knees and leans in. Her fingers are so strong yet so gentle against Lisa’s shoulders and the morning’s first kiss is so warm and comforting, much different from the kisses she’d given last night.

“Mm,” she feels the sound slip from her mouth as their lips part. This might be the loveliest morning of her life and she hasn’t even had breakfast yet.

She reaches down for her black pair of heeled boots, pulling one shoe over one sock each and tightening the laces at the top. Ako stumbles around the room in nothing but her crop-top tee and underwear, seemingly searching for another pair of pants and probably a replacement shirt. In the corner of her eye, Ako pulls a band tee from a pile of other band tees and is surprised to catch Ako in a RAISE A SUILEN tee. The sight of their self-proclaimed rival band’s logo being the drummer’s apparel of choice for today makes her chuckle a little bit.

Their last conversation from last night replays in her head with an extra speedy rewind feature making the words seem jumbled and incoherent. Still, it’s enough to make her doubt her place in this apartment even though she’d been invited inside. She starts off toward the door with a sullen look in her eyes, though she tries to hide it from Ako. “Well, I’ll be on my way then…”

“Aw, already?” Ako sneaks up behind her -- her breaths beat against Lisa’s neck and her arms around Lisa’s stomach are a comfort she can’t resist. “I’d love for you to stay longer baby.”

Ako’s smooth voice alone is enough to tempt her, and the flirtatious way she says it seals the deal. “Alright, alright~,” Lisa gives a coy grin and her whole mood settles. She’s a welcomed guest, so no need to push herself out so soon.

“Tonight, I wanna take you somewhere nice,” Ako hums into her ear.

“Oh? Where’s that?”

“You’ll have to wait and find out, fu fu fu…” Ako runs her hands over Lisa’s sleeves. Her breaths draw closer, closer, until there’s a wet kiss against Lisa’s nape. It’s exhilarating in its own way, though very different from the sort of exhilarating she’d expected after everything else. “Do you have anything nice to wear? Like, kinda formal but not too formal.”

Lisa searches through her recent memories for all the times she’s actually dressed up for any sort of formal event and draws a blank in her mind. It’s so out of character for a fashion queen like herself to not have an outfit for every occasion, but in her defense, she’s never been the sort to have a dress code beyond what looks stylish in her mind. She’s sure there are some dresses from long ago somewhere in her closet but chances are they don’t fit anymore.

“Not that I can think of, actually,” she answers.

“Haha, no worries babe. We’ll venture forth to the mall to prepare,” Ako says with a dramatic flourish, before being interrupted by the grumbling of her stomach. “Err. After breakfast, I mean.”

* * *

_ I know this place like the back of my hand! _

As it turns out, Lisa doesn’t know the back of her hand very well. At least not when it’s missing all the bones inside her fingers.

The shopping district felt like a ghost town despite being just as active as it always is. The shopping mall, though, is a different story. There’s only a few handfuls of customers and half the fast food joints that used to occupy the food court are completely desolate, save for a logo that nobody bothered taking down because nobody is going to move in at this point. Shutters block out entrances to old jewelry stores now devoid of any diamond or gold, the only thing remaining beyond the grates is shadow over tiled flooring. Vacant kiosks litter the split passageways connecting each wing of the mall and Lisa’s not sure any of the photo booths work anymore.

“Jeez… what happened here?” Lisa asks.

“It’s the ancient ruins of the former hell’s metropolis. Guess business wasn’t doing so well and a bunch of places had to close up?”

Ako strolls casually at Lisa’s side, close enough for her presence to be unmistakable. She’s just as hot as she was last night and Lisa thanks either god or the devil for whatever fate brought her this towering hunk of muscles whose smile is cool enough to freeze the earth’s core.

Her arm hovers around Lisa’s shoulder but doesn’t quite touch, except in those moments where she’s searched every direction to make sure nobody can see. Lisa senses the care she puts into every movement out in the open which is such a stark contrast to the reckless advances she'd made at the ramen shop. It’s so unlike the rough way she’d played around on the couch last night. Ako was always the bombastic sort of girl who cared about others as loudly as she could. Yet there's a comfort in how gently her fingers press against Lisa's shoulder in those brief instances of privacy, which come more often than usual thanks to the dwindling state of this mall.

As they turn the corner toward the escalator and walk just past the cinema, that longing sensation from yesterday returns quietly. Ako had managed to push it deep into the back of her mind last evening, but echoes of the outings she’d spend here with Aya, Himari, and Touko ring in her ears. She can’t remember the way they laughed but the image of their arms leaning against the upper level railing waiting for her to arrive haunts her. Of all her gal pals she’d lost touch with in college, the trendy trio were some of the girls she’d missed hanging with the most. It was just so nice to just have a clique of girls who both loved fashion like her and weren’t straight. (Well, hopefully Himari has figured that part out by now.) The balcony above the cinema is as empty as she’d expect, and the hole in her heart grows ever wider.

Together they enter inside the women’s fashion store which now seems to carry men’s clothes too, in lieu of the neighboring men’s fashion store's permanent closure. Its dim-lit interior still feels like home to her, or as close to home as a massive sinkhole for her wallet could ever be. The ever-expanding clearance section in the back is a warning sign for the shop’s waning customer base, but that means it’s also a paradise for a fashionable bargain-hunting bitch like Lisa to shop ‘til she drops. She’s in her element!

Her vision gravitates toward her typical favorites: darker red tops that are loose around the neck and lighter beige sweaters with plenty of breathing room. Unfortunately those aren’t quite the style she’s looking for today. Instead, she focuses on gathering a batch of hanger hooks into one hand, stockpiling outfits that have that ‘fancy party’ vibe, but apparently not too fancy. That’s not exactly an easy combination to hunt down but it’s a challenge Lisa is more than happy to take on. She’s not sure why she even needs it still, but that’s part of the fun after all~. The weight of several dresses in her favorite shades starts to tug her off-balance.

“Mind if I pick out a few too?” Ako asks.

“Sure, go ahead!” Lisa gives her a very blatant wink and Ako responds with a grin that’s beyond enthusiastic, but still contains a hint of smooth teasing inside it. She thankfully serves as an extra clothing rack until they manage to reach a changing room stall. Ako waits outside, probably leaning against a wall and looking like a total stud. Lisa has to push that image to the back of her mind in order to concentrate on her own image, but that’s easier said than done when it comes to a girl as hot as Ako is.

Lisa sorts through the pile. First up is a vermillion strapless dress that fits tight around her chest. It’s undeniably pretty but feels a bit too much, more like something she’d wear to a movie premiere if she were a cinema star. No good. Next? 

Next in the pile is a long gown colored ruby with little specks of light decorating the silk all the way down to where the skirt glides close to the floor. It glimmers in the mirror and Lisa looks absolutely fabulous. Too fabulous. Almost like a princess, but she’s not the type to put any stock in fairytales. Next.

Oh, hey! This garnet sheath dress works pretty well! It’s a snug fit, and the neckline is just revealing enough to show off some cleavage without going overboard. Ako’s gonna love it, and Lisa isn’t exactly shy about the pride she takes in her own appearance. Well, maybe she’s a little shy. Modesty is key, right? Either way! This dress looks fantastic and definitely fits the not-too-formal criteria, the color is perfect, too! Plus it’s…

Huh.

Where’d that light beige button-up come from? Lisa peeks at the label on the tag and notices it’s in her size, but she definitely recognizes the brand as being catered toward men’s fashion. Must have gotten mixed in or misplaced near a few of the other dresses or maybe Ako grabbed it by mistake. Either way, it’s… oddly alluring. Lisa glances at her reflection and of course she’s pretty, that’s just the average day for Lisa Imai’s reflection. But her sights linger on the button-up shirt and maybe she’s feeling a little inspired. After all, if Ako can be a handsome lesbian then why can’t she? With both hands, she lifts the dress off by the waist and carefully slips it back over its hanger. She trades it out for the long sleeve button-up and a pair of black slacks that happened to be mixed in the pile with it. 

Despite how different it feels in style than what she’s used to, dressing herself in a dashing outfit like this comes as second nature somehow. The buttons click into place with ease and the sleeves are snug around her arms -- a little bit wrinkled but that shouldn’t be an issue. The slacks fit fine as well. The pant legs reach past her feet but she could probably just roll ‘em up to solve that. She scans up and down the mirror and is beyond impressed by how good she looks, but there’s something still a little off… Oh! She reaches deep into her purse and rummages around, sweeping her fingers past a lipstick bottle and sack of tissues until… There we go! She sweeps a scrunchy out from the bottom surface and wraps it over her fingers. She pulls as many locks of her own hair as she can fit in both hands and it takes a bit of dexterity to maneuver it all into the scrunchy but it’s no challenge for Lisa Imai, fashion queen!

The girl in the mirror is  _ stunning.  _ Okay, maybe she’s not Ako Udagawa levels of stunning but it’s hard to compete with someone that tall, muscular, pretty, and confident. Even just a little bit stunning is fine, as a treat. Her eyes practically sparkle in the mirror and suddenly her fashion world expands far beyond the limits she’d never even considered crossing before today. She leans against the stall’s wall and smirks like she imagines Ako would. Yup, sure enough. Lisa Imai is totally capable of looking like femme heartthrob. 

When Lisa emerges from the stall, Ako stands right across from her in waiting but she has to double-take. The woman she was waiting for doesn’t match her expectations and her eyes practically pop out of her skull.

“Like what you see~?” Lisa can’t help but tease as she grips the door handle and strikes a confident pose with her other hand on her hip.

Ako’s speechless for merely a second before she replies, “Hehe. You’re full of surprises, Lisa. I like that in a girl.”

_ Smooth.  _ If they weren’t inside a public store with a cashier potentially watching (but probably just zoning out from the lack of customers) she’d throw her arms around Ako and kiss her right then and there. But memories leak in and she holds herself back, for now. Her stomach grows uneasy.

Ako clears her throat and approaches. “I actually meant to try that on for myself. Wasn’t expecting a dark maiden like you to beat me to the punch.”

“Better be a bit more careful next time then,” Lisa says, sticking her tongue out just slightly enough for Ako to see and winking with pleasure.

“Ahaha,” Ako chuckles aloud, her eyes keeping steady contact as she leans in closer. “You look amazing, babe.” Lisa knows Ako’s a huge flirt but there’s something earnest about the gesture. She’s genuinely in awe.

“Fufu~ Thanks!” Lisa smiles triumphantly and there’s a spark in her eyes like a flame flickering into being.

By the time she’s done, she’s got one paper shopping bag in hand containing both the garnet dress she’d grown attached to and the stylish set of men’s clothes she’d rocked her own world with. This has somehow been the most exciting shopping trip she’s had in months, and maybe she has Ako to thank for that. She lets her own hand slide around Ako’s fingers as they exit the store together, but not before turning her head to make sure there’s no one in sight to catch them.

* * *

Ako lives close enough to the shopping district that it’s an easy walk from her apartment to the nearest cafe, even at night. The one problem is that Hazawa Coffee isn’t open at this hour, so Lisa’s got no idea why she and Ako are all dressed up standing in front of it at nine o’clock at night staring into the shadows of a cafe devoid of activity. There’s a faint glow coming from somewhere in the back, but it’s difficult to make out what exactly it is or what’s emitting it.

She looks to Ako for an answer. Ako’s wearing a similar button-up shirt to her own but in a deep violet with her sleeves rolled all the way up to show off her biceps. She’s got a pair of crimson suspenders around her shoulders, ends clasped to a black pair of jeans. She’s got that cool smile that seems like her default expression nowadays (frame of reference: not quite 24 hours yet).

“We’re almost there,” Ako says. “Just around the corner!”

“Why did we stop?”

“‘Cuz I’m about to change the way you look at this place forever!”

Ako leads her around the corner into a nondescript alleyway beside the cafe. Right away, Lisa notices a cellar door resting right by the wall. It’s made of freshly polished mahogany wood with one steel handle on the far end. Ako lurches forward and grabs the handle. It takes a bit of force; she pulls on it with the slightest strained grunt masked by the blunt sound of wood sliding open. Beneath is a staircase made of the same mahogany leading into a compact room about the size of a small storage unit with another door at the end. There’s also a wall lamp in the shape of a tulip bulb emitting a cool yellow from the side. Ako has to duck on the way down to avoid bonking her head against the ceiling but it’s an easy fit for Lisa. Ako guides her finger to a button at the door’s side right next to the arched handle. A slight buzz whirs from beyond the door and a panel about a third of the way down from the top slides open.

Verdant eyes peek out from the opening and a voice so familiar it hurts to hear addresses Lisa. She’s stern as always but there’s a different cadence, free of insignificant burdens that once plagued her. “Members only. I’ll need to see your ID.”

Ako gently pushes against Lisa, sweeping her slightly to the side and clutching onto her wrist. It’s not tight enough to hurt. In fact, Ako’s grip on her arm is enough to settle the thoughts before they can overwhelm her, preventing her from falling into the abyss of rotten memories and remorse. She slips a card from her pocket and flashes it to the woman on the other side. “She’s with me.”

Sayo sighs, a little begrudgingly considering how obvious she makes it. But nevertheless, the door inside opens revealing the interior beneath Hazawa Coffee. 

The hardwood floor is home to an array of tables and chairs beneath the soft glow of walls lined with more tulip-bulb lamps, pride flags tucked between them hanging downward. A burly bearded man in a polo sits across from more androgynous man wearing a cardigan and scarf, and at the table behind them are two girls in their late-20s holding hands without shame staring longingly into each other’s eyes. Toward the furthest wall there’s a piano sounding out mellow melodies, a raven-hair woman with a long ponytail manning the keys. Lisa doesn’t quite register that she knows the woman because she’s immediately distracted by the wall of wines, liquors, rums, whiskies, and beers. Shelves extend halfway across the room and meet at the end of where the bar counter curves to the wall. 

As the door shuts behind them, Lisa catches sight of a woman with asymmetrical chestnut hair parted to the side currently rubbing off a wine glass with a towel until it’s nearly spotless. She’s wearing a silk white dress shirt with its sleeves folded just past her wrists. Around her torso is a black button-up vest with a matching black bowtie around her collar. The shelves stacked behind her make her seem an inch shorter than she actually is, but she’s got the aura of someone more competent than she lets on. Since when were there so many handsome women living in this town? She tucks the glass under the counter before raising her eyebrows and returning Lisa’s gaze. “Lisa?! It’s been too long!” she says with a cheerful grin.

Lisa wants to return her greeting, but she fails to recognize who it is until Sayo slides through the swinging counter door and joins her side, leaning in to place a delicate kiss on the woman’s cheek. The woman beams in return and giggles with delight.

Tsugumi Hazawa is goddamn debonair.

“U-uh, hey Tsugumi!” Lisa nearly fails to spit out the words as she has a reaction that isn’t quite the level of gay meltdown she had last night but jesus why is every girl in this town so pretty, do they want Lisa to die?

Ako’s arm sweeps around Lisa’s neck, her hand latches onto her shoulder without refrain. “Good to see ya Tsugu. Can I get my lady friend here onto the members list?”

“Sure thing!” Tsugumi disappears beneath the bar and when she re-emerges, she’s flipping through an office binder holding pages together. The first couple pages are covered in names engraved in ink while the rest are blank aside from writing spaces and three-hole punches. She quickly jots down Lisa onto the page before closing it back up. Wait, is it really that easy to become a member here?

Then it dawns on Lisa that she isn’t quite sure where ‘here’ is. A bar, apparently. “So… what exactly is this place?”

“Did Ako not tell you?” Tsugumi gives a questioning look. Sayo is lingering nearby but she’s very blatantly averting her eyes from any chance of interacting with Lisa.

“Hey, a girl’s gotta have her surprises, right?” Ako answers as Lisa shakes her head.

Lisa expects Tsugumi to be annoyed, but her eyes grow wide and she leans across the bar with an eager smile. “In that case, welcome to Hazawa Inn!”

Lisa places her finger over her own lip and tilts her head. “Hazawa Inn? Not Hazawa Coffee?”

“My parents run Hazawa Coffee upstairs during the day! I was going to take over for them at first, but when I came up with the idea for Hazawa Inn they said I had their full support!” Tsugumi’s voice trails off, but she quickly catches herself and shakes her head. “Ah, sorry! Hazawa Inn is the name for this bar. We’re a members only gay bar run by myself and my wife!” Her eyes steadily travel toward Sayo’s direction and there’s a puff of flushed steam radiating from her face. When Sayo turns around, Lisa notices the braid around her left side starting from where her bangs part, tucked past her ear. “Our goal is to provide a safe environment for people like us, so we gotta be careful about who we’re letting in.”

Lisa’s jaw becomes slack and she flinches from awe. “Whoa, you did all this?! That’s amazing!”

“Sure did!” Tsugumi’s smile is full of pride, a kind of pride Lisa doesn’t remember the baker-turned-bartender having nearly enough of all those years ago. Times have changed since she’s been gone and now there’s a safe haven for people like herself. It’s incredible in the best way possible. She never thought she’d see something like this in the very town she grew up. “Make yourself at home!”

Still struggling to grasp the situation, she takes a seat at the bar on a stool just to the right of a woman in a letterman jacket. Ako takes the seat to Lisa’s right and taps the countertop with her knuckles. It doesn’t take long for a glass bottle of beer to manifest inside her grip and she gives Lisa a sly wink. Now that there’s a little more light, Ako looks so goddamn hot in suspenders, it should be a crime.

“Sayooo~ Did you finish that game I lent you yet?” The woman next to her left speaks in a sleepish tone, punctuating every sentence with her voice trailing off. With all the familiar faces around here, it’s easy for Lisa to figure out that it’s Moca.

“I told you that I’m going to get all 26 endings. It will take longer than a week,” Sayo says, her eyes still intentionally dodging toward everywhere that isn’t Lisa.

“Ohoho… Good luck, ending Y is a real pain in the ass.”

Once Sayo moves out of earshot Lisa taps the counter and manages to steal Moca’s attention. “Hey Moca!”

“Lisa~? Ah yeah, I forgot to reply to your text.” She bows and claps her hands together. “Please forgive poor little Moca. It just slipped her mind, she swears~!”

Just on the other side of Moca is a blonde woman who has the same mature, watchful aura as Chisato Shirasagi used to have. “That’s an interesting way of admitting you had lost your phone in the bedsheets and whined about it all day,” she says. And the way she speaks reveals that Chisato Shirasagi is exactly who it is.

Moca recoils with a blush across her face while Chisato raises her glass to her own lips, sipping down a honey-colored liquid that Lisa assumes is some kind of whisky or potentially bourbon. Moca lifts her head and meets Lisa’s eyes. She’s got layered bangs swept to the side and an undercut. In an odd way, it suits her.

“Ahaha, it’s no problem!” Lisa flicks her eyes between Moca and Chisato and ponders when the two of them had grown close. “What have you been up to, Moca?”

“Not much, not much~. Uni sucks but at least I get to date a hot actress so things could be worse.” It’s a bit of a shock but based on even that one little exchange, it’s not too difficult to infer. Lisa almost wants to know more but it’s probably rude to prod too much when this is the first time they’ve spoken in years. Moca makes the move instead, “How about you? You kinda vanished, eh?”

“Yeah, I mean. I took a four year vacation and came back with a liberal arts degree, I guess?”

She scratches the side of her head. As she anticipates in the corner of her eye, Sayo’s trying to hold back a nasty glare and it’s turned out as more of a mildly annoyed squint. God, the way her old comrade keeps acting so resentful stings so much but she knows she deserves it. She deserves it from anyone, but especially from Sayo.

In an attempt to not pay any mind toward Sayo, her vision travels across the shelves of alcohol behind. It’s such a wide selection she doesn’t even know where to start. “Say Moca, what do you recommend?”

“Hmmm… Sorry to say, they don’t have any 1967 vintage here~.”

From the other side of Moca’s playful grin, Lisa swears she hears Chisato Shirasagi snort like a boar. Chisato lurches over the counter trying to recover from that outburst and masks her snort with a more elegant giggle before she turns to Lisa’s direction and says, “Ask Tsugumi for the Whisky Highball. You won’t be disappointed.”

Lisa does as told and Tsugumi slams a tall glass on the counter. She fills it delicately with ice and whisky ‘til it turns into a transparent yellow. Next she sprays it with soda water until it fizzes and foams and fills to just below the tip. Lisa can’t take her eyes off the bartender. It seems like such a farfetched image, an underclassman from high school serving up whisky underneath the cafe. But maybe it’s the way Tsugumi has decided to present herself. It’s more than fitting. She’s so mature, so refined in how she handles each drink and how she dresses. Her prideful grin offsets the old self-doubt she used to let slip from time to time. Lisa takes a sip. It’s fizz in her mouth, a texture that dissolves across her tongue but there’s a sharp bite of whisky with it. Somewhere in it there’s vanilla and honey because it’s definitely sweet but it’s difficult to discern what’s what as it melts in her mouth.

In the corner of Lisa’s eyes, Chisato and Moca’s hands reach across the counter and collide tenderly. It reminds Lisa that she’s somewhere new, but maybe somewhere welcoming and protective. She mumbles aloud, “So… this place is really for us…”

Chisato’s precise hearing catches every word. “Yes. This is the one place where we don’t have to hide how we feel from prying eyes.”

“I never imagined… Well, I know there’s places like that elsewhere. But I never expected one to pop up right under our noses.” There’s a tenderness in her heart under the romantic dim lighting as other couples express their unapologetic affection and the handful of loners sit back and chill, taking in the comfort of Tsugumi and company’s secret little haven.

She keeps on drinking until her glass empties and she turns to her right again. Ako’s been keeping herself occupied with some game on her phone while slowly making her way down that beer bottle. Lisa’s not close to drunk off of one glass but maybe just one glass is enough for a little courage. She takes Ako by the wrist and stares into her eyes. Ako hides her phone away in one of her pockets and devotes her undivided attention to Lisa. Their hands slide together and meet. 

That soft melody on the piano in the back enters their fingers and feet. Lisa starts tapping her shoe against the floor in a matching rhythm and Ako’s free hand drums on the countertop. She’s got that urge flowing through her system, an urge to stand and let the melody guide her every step, to fall relentlessly romantically into her dance partner’s arms. Memories creep in but she swats them away.

“Hey Ako, care for a dance?”

Ako almost blushes at the question. Almost. Lisa figures she’s got a little too much confidence to let that vulnerable side slip through. “Feeling nostalgic, are we?”

“You could say~.”

They stand together. Lisa’s not even sure why she’s so enthusiastic but she pulls Ako in close and the music starts to overtake her. It’s a slow tune, calm and relaxing and honestly she thinks she recognizes it from somewhere but that’s not what matters. What matters is being careful with her feet as she pulls Ako around with her arms wrapped over her waist. Ako’s hands slide over Lisa’s shoulders. There’s hardly any space between them. She likes that.

Her feet gently step, step, step in a revolving pattern, careful not to step onto Ako’s shoes. Ako’s surprisingly good at keeping steady, but why is it surprising when they were in the same dance club? It’s still so difficult to imagine that that girl and this woman are one and the same. Please, Lisa begs nobody in particular, it’s going to take a few days at least. The two sway back and forth in each other’s arms as they elegantly dance to the melody from the back. Each step is a simple breath drawn, pressuring the fabric of her shirt. This probably isn’t the sort of bar for dancing but why waste a perfectly fine pianist’s hard work? Step, step. And the melody marches on and melts into air.

There’s something about the mood. Like a plague that can’t be cured. A little bit tipsy, even just the slightest bit, and another girl in her arms. Their eyes meet. She’s so terrified. Ako won’t push her away, though. Ako lowers herself. The narrow space between them becomes non-existent when Lisa shuts her eyes and moves in. Their lips touch, gently. It’s serene. And the whole world watches without judgment. Well, only a little judgment but she’ll deal with that some other night. It’s incredible. It’s not that this only exists here. It can exist anywhere, but it just happens to be here right now. The parting of lips washes away the bitter aftertaste of rejection. Their eyes meet again, and that scarlet in Ako’s eyes is a star at its brightest. The warmth of a sunset in her iris.

While she melts into Ako’s arms, while her lips melt into Ako’s lips, a weight leaves her body. Something washes over her, or perhaps washes away, and her body has to reconstruct itself to purge the sting of that nightmare. It’s not gone completely, but it’s something different from before. It doesn’t hurt the same. It hurts in a way that she doesn’t mind so much, a kind of hurt that she can learn to feel at ease with. 

Lisa craves to stay like this, even if just for another few minutes.

* * *

Dawn sets upon an apartment just down the street from Hazawa Inn. Two women drudge themselves around their bedroom while undoing the last of one’s braid and getting undressed for the night. Which, by their schedules, is actually daylight hours for the waking world. Every blind and curtain is as shut as they can get and hardly any light creeps into the room. She’s still not used to the hours even after a full month and a half trying to adjust her sleep schedule to work. Still, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

The older woman -- well, not that much older -- crawls into bed and searches the dark until her hand finds its way onto the naked waist of her beloved. The other woman rolls in place until they face each other.

…

There’s something on her mind, but she won’t say it. Fortunately, her beloved is quick to catch on. “Is this about her showing up?”

“Mm. Yeah…” She squirms under the covers.

“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.”

“But I do want to. She’s one of my best friends. I’m just… I don’t know.”

“It hurts, right?”

Her partner’s hand touches the center of her chest and her heartbeat is so open, so vulnerable. “It hurts.”

They pull each other close. The younger woman -- just a little bit younger -- rubs her face against the older one’s collarbone. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

It’s too dark for either to see but a smile forms on her lips before she places a quiet kiss atop her lover’s head. The words don’t even need to leave her mouth for the other to understand.  _ Thank you. _

**Author's Note:**

> big thanks to [silversilky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silversilky/pseuds/silversilky) for helping by beta reading! if you're into angsty adulthood fics check out her kaomaya fic [Slow Motion Replay](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23635669/chapters/56726704)!
> 
> my tentative update schedule for this will be updating near the start and middle of the month! approximately 1st and 15th but i'd give that a bit of leeway, might not always be the exact date each time.


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